Helly Saturday Morning

Take up the cross and follow Christ. Image

Saturday morning when I got up I was furious to realise the internet was on. I turned it off before I slept already.  So my wife switched it on and she slept in late again today. 

I prayed hard that the Lord would give me wisdom to handle my rage. My son bump the door and asked me whats for breakfast while praying. So I stopped praying and went to the fridge, took some eggs and put on the induction cooker. Looking furiously at my wife wrapped with blanket at the other room. I slammed the pan down on the sink and slammed the door in the CR.  I shoved the table in anger and closed the door in the room so that I wont see her. 

I went in the other room, switched on the light and the electric fan and shut the door. I think I want her to know that I’m mad at her. I hit the pillow in the door so hard it made a loud sound. I want her to know that I am mad. Why?  Why should I tell her I am angry. 

What is happening to me?  While all this was happening on this lovely Saturday morning. I closed my eyes and requested God to rid me of this anger in my heart. Where's this coming from? Why sudden situation make me angry at my wife? Is it because I was not given a chance to make love to her. Or is it because she doesnt do what I want to do. 

It's been a few weeks since I was made redundant from the office. I started feeling lost in myself. The hurt of being thrown away from the folks I was working with for a decade in an overnight flight as the release been done through online MS Teams call. They had on the meeting an HR officer reading out the termination of employement. I thought I was fine.  Or I was simply trying to be okay ending the call. After the call, I tell my wife I was let go from work and she tells me it might be God’s way of getting me off the night shift. I felt it was okay. That statement was a comfort. 

Little did I know that the office issue had gone down in my heart. I was outraged with my classmates, my immediate team leader, my so-called buddies. I couldn't comprehend the reality that I was being thrown away like that. I felt unloved and unwanted. And I lost my confidence. 

Now, weeks later after the discharge my wife and I had a frequent conversation that led to misunderstanding and ending up shouting and quarrel. 

Ephesians 6:13 states.  "Take up therefore the whole armour of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."

We are in horrible days. We live in a situation where we are susceptible to the impacts of the situation in our lives, including the loss of jobs, argument with wife, rage difficulties. But thank God for the lesson today that we need to put on the complete armour of God so we can stand in the wicked days.  I thought about this whole armour.  Is this a simple frezy souldiers armour that i can switch off and on and wear it like ussual.

The six pieces of armor and their biblical meanings include: 

Belt of Truth: Buckled around the waist to hold everything together; represents integrity, honesty, and standing firm in God's truth against lies. 

Breastplate of Righteousness: Protects the heart and vital organs; represents the righteousness of Christ guarding against Satan's accusations.

Shoes of the Gospel of Peace: Fits feet with readiness; represents a foundation of peace with God and the willingness to share the Gospel

Shield of Faith: Used to extinguish the "flaming arrows" of the evil one; symbolizes unwavering trust in God to deflect doubt and attacks.

Helmet of Salvation: Protects the head and mind; represents the assurance of eternal security and the protection of one's thoughts

Sword of the Spirit: The Word of God. This is the only offensive weapon mentioned in the armor, used to actively combat temptation and deception.

Today I was reminded that I need to pick up my cross and follow Christ. Life here on earth is so hard, if we will not be entirely dependent on God we will get lost in translation on what is going on with us. Another passage that comes to me is from mathew, come to me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. So I must go to God and seek his face And I shall find rest. That is what I am trying to urge you to do. I cannot give you any other advise because I do not know what you are going through but one thing is for sure that if you cling on to God he will always open and ready to receive anything that we might have burden in our heart and He will beready to fill us with his spirit so that we will be back to how he want us to be.